Good morning Extraordinary-U!!
I need to restore integrity with you....I communicated to you I would post once a week and it is now 3 weeks since my last blog. The impact of that on you is you were left wondering what's going on with me...like where have I been, will I be back? I left you hangin'. You have my apologies and a commitment that if I cannot write a full blown blog once a week I will communicate that to you and not leave you hanging....deal??!! Great!
Just to get complete around this...yes I was rocked with a sinus mucus monster that left me completely whipped out and uninspired to empower you. Yeah...like I really do write this stuff and if it is not completely coming from my heart I can't write it...I am a stand that you are left touched, moved and inspired in an area of life that is important to you...and I will have those days...or weeks in this case where I just ain't got it :) Its called Human Being!!
I am back with a vengeance!! So be totally prepared to be rocked!!
So lets take a look at what is Integrity? Imagine that...that I would start with that :)
Integrity is as simple as doing what we say we are going to do....right??!! Can you think of a recent time when you said you would do something and didn't? What was the impact on you? What can you put in place next time so you can honor your word?!?
Just last week...I was on a call with leader in the community communicating to her some concerns I had about what had happened at our last meeting and she says to me...Call so and so and get clear on X....and what happens...I say YES just so I LOOK GOOD and avoid looking BAD. But I KNEW when I said yes I had absolutely NO intentions on calling who she wanted me to call to get clarification around X. In fact in my mind...it was like I gave her the flying finger!! Yeah!! Like I thought she was telling me to do that to get off my little tangent....so I gave her the (mental) flying finger and didn't call who I said I would call. Bam!! I'll show you (stomping my foot) can you see it?!! LOL right!! Can you relate??!
Then I GOT the impact of not being in integrity...It was an AHA moment (thank you Oprah) ...it is like tiny pieces start to chip off of me. Like I begin to walk around with tiny holes...till there is more and more and more!!
When I was made aware of that impact..I started to look at my life and that situation...what did I start to do or not do? Like I was out to prove or disprove this phenomenon.... You know what I was doing...I started to avoid eye contact with the person whom I was complaining about. And then I noticed I was not as open or free with the person I was supposed to have called to get clear with. And the person who I said yes to but really intended no...there was this big heavy burden that came over me....Now get that these are people that I see at least 2 times a week...so this behavior I was starting to develop out of not being in integrity was just ugly and greatly affected the quality of our work!!
So what is there to do from there...restore integrity, right? How do you do that...you declare it and acknowledge the impact it had on others and communicate the actions to be taken to avoid this happening again! Awesome yes??!! There is a whole new relationship to my word now.
So I went up to the person I was gripping about and said hey I need to restore integrity with you. I had some bad thoughts about this and that and that is just NOT who I am. The impact of that is I started avoiding you, you don't even know these conversations were going on but it was affecting my relationship with you. Then I went up to the person I was supposed to call...said hey I need to restore integrity with you....I was supposed to call you for some coaching in this area and I didn't.... The impact is I missed out on an opportunity to get clear about X. When can we schedule that? And then with the person I said yes to...I need to restore integrity with you...I said I would call so and so and didn't. The impact was I was completely out of integrity and didn't do what I said I would do.
So over the next week I just kept cleaning up and cleaning up integrity everywhere in my life. Even if you thought oh I will do that and didn't ...I cleaned it up. What was I left with after all that was this freedom...freedom of shame of all the would a, could a, should a's!!
Robin Sharma says Integrity is all about wholeness. Make sure that you consistently do what your conscience tells you is correct in not just one department, but in all departments of your life. the different areas of your life are like rivers flowing together to form an ocean. The emotional influences the physical and together they influence the social and together these affect the spiritual elements of your world. Neglecting any department of your life this means relationship neglect or physical neglect or spiritual neglect, profoundly touches all of the other areas.
So I challenge you....Where do you need to restore integrity? Where have you said you would do something and didn't? Pick up the phone...call that person and make a difference for thier listening of you and in who you are for others!!!
Yah that's one of the totally cool things...people start to rely on you as your WORD!!
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B the Light!
I usually post by Tuesday...here it is Thursday and I find myself struggling to get words on paper. I am committed to being the light and I find the flame dim this week. I pray that you find inspiration and take action in your own life with what I have to share.
This week I am present to Who Will Cry When You Die? Morbid yes...but let me paint this picture for you. My grandmother died at 89 years old with no will, 5 funeral attendees and less in assets than what it would take a family of 4 to go to a Blues Hockey game.
With that... we can walk away with 2 big ideas:
1. Do you have your paperwork taken care of...will or trust?
2. How many lives will you impact in your lifetime?
Get your paperwork taken care of
What is in the mind of an 89 year old person who has survived 3 types of cancer, lung replacement, mastectomy, and a gamut of other health issues...to die without a will? Did she think she didn't have enough to matter? Did she think if she didn't have a will she wouldn't die? Death is inevitable, folks. You may not have much or you may have millions...but if you don't designate where things are to go you are leaving that up to our court system and a trail of destruction for your loved ones.
I spent 6 hours in court on Tuesday watching my mother melt away in tears of hurt and anger as we were forced to testify before a probate judge...Happy Valentine's day to us!!! My grandmother borrowed a significant amount of money over 5 year period to help supplement her expenses. We were told by my grandmother, it was in writing, that the means of repayment was upon death out of the sale of her condo, her only asset. Of which was worth 1/3 of what my grandparents originally paid for it.
No will, no writing...repayment of this loan in the hands of a judge...and what's left after that....peanuts. 89 years of life of nothing and a trail of destruction for your loved ones.
Why do I share this intimate conversation with you? Because this ordeal with my grandma it gave me the courage to ask my dad...hey do you have your shit in writing so I don't have to go through this with you...and guess what? He doesn't either.
Maybe its just my family...ask your parents...get a copy and get your will done too right??!! Yeah...its an uncomfortable conversation...but is so important. Peace of mind and power can me found in the courage to take this on!!
My husband and I will have ours done by the end of 2012....you have my word.
How many lives are you impacting in your lifetime?
I think I am most impacted by this question this week. Who will cry when you die? Will the funeral home be busting at the seams with people coming to pay respect, give thanks and share the stories about how YOU impacted thier life? I would like to think if you are reading this you are one of the great ones out to make a difference. It takes something to BE that. What legacy will you leave behind for your kids and grandkids? What will they remember you for? Who are they because you helped them find their light?
Take 10 minutes right now and look into your life and your actions...will you be the 89 year old with no will, 5 funeral attendees and enough in assets to cover a night at a hockey game? What actions can you take today to begin to create a life bigger than you know yourself to be?
Join my sexy readers club and LIKE ME on Facebook or TWEET ME on Twitter so you are continually plugged into a community committed to GREATNESS!!
If this moved you to action today...SHARE BELOW...your story may inspire someone else and change their life!!
Join the movement...Donate today to Living Water International, because THIS community right here...that you are a part of... is out to make a measurable difference in 2012!!
B the Light!
The answer to that, for many is....well just like last year, I guess...fine, ok, maybe disappointing, upsetting, stressful...sound familiar? I get that.
Here is an idea to try on....your holiday can GO how you SAY its going TO GO??!! Crazy right??!!
So you have 2 choices this holiday season. You can either sit in the stands of your life and watch your holiday come and go OR you can get on the court and play your game (life) full out!! Get it??!!
So I ask you again....How are the holidays going to BE? What do you want to create?
Let's breakdown what it really means to be "upset." What are the 3 things that have to be present for someone to get upset? (learned this in Landmark Education Seminar...AMAZING)
- A thwarted intention...what does that mean??!? Hey...It's not going my way!!!
- An unfulfilled expectation. This is when we see how something SHOULD go and it just doesn’t go that way.
- Undelivered communication...what's that? We withhold something that needs to be said, or someone withholds from us
What's the result??!! WE GET UPSET!!!
How do we dismantle UPSET??!!
- Recognize... hey I'm upset
- Determine the source of the upset (1,2,or 3 above)
- Be responsible for the upset...like OH I didn't tell you how I wanted it to go
- Communicate
So how does this play out in the holiday, right?
Let's take Thanksgiving for me this year as an example. So every year it was this big ordeal right?!? We would get up, really dreading the day, head out like 10am, drove like an hour out to my mom's where she cooked the huge delicious elaborate meal, get there, stuff our faces, watch the clock, clean up, watch the clock, visit a little bit, watch the clock head out like 3pm...drive another hour to my husbands family feel stuffed and miserable as we sat down to his mother's huge delicious elaborate meal, stuff our faces, watch the clock, clean up, watch the clock, visit a bit, watch the clock, head out like 8pm, go home, crash and be miserably stuffed.
And every year I would GET UPSET see above :) because it really didn't GO the way I intended it to go. Like that's not really what I wanted out of my holiday??!!! (Can you see me stomping my foot??!!) Where was the joy and fun in THAT? And I would spend the next couple of days upset and regretful. Sound familiar?
Here's the reality...our families really never knew this upset us...we never told them!! WOW!! We were just sitting on the stands of our life watching the holiday go by...and we got what we got... that was an unfulfilled holiday and a big belly ache!!
Can you begin to get this? Does this resonate with anyone out there?
So this year, my husband and I sat down and created what we wanted. How does that happen? Well...you just talk about it, throw out ideas. We were like...what's important? If we could have it all...what would it look like?
Well....we discovered what was important was that we got to be with family, relax, play games together, have great food, like have the ability to just sit and talk with each other. We live in the same town but how often do we really just sit, interact and enjoy each other??!! Right??!!
So I sent out an email to our families, enrolling them in what was important to us...which was to be with them longer & on more easeful terms. Who wouldn't want that???!!! Hey I love you and want more of you!!
We proposed combining families to our house and dividing up the menu. Everyone was like yeah! Bring it on!! And if it doesn't work...we can create something new next time, right??!!
So what happened??!! Each of the mothers were delighted to share in the cooking. We got the best of the best combined cooked meal... it was succulent. We got to spend all day together, kids hanging out, taking pictures, playing games, eating 1 fabulous meal. We got joy & laughter. We just got to BE. It was EXTRAORDINARY!!
"UPSET" was avoided by everyone because we created, communicated & delivered on our intentions.
So can you see how your holiday with your family could be COMPLETELY transformed? YOU have the power to dismantle UPSET...power is in language and communication...
So I ask you again...How are the holidays going to BE for you this year? Create NOW and COMMUNICATE to your family, friends & loved ones. Make this holiday EXTRAORDINARY!!
With love & affection you CAN have it all!!
Be courageous! B the light (Santa is watching)
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