Tuesday, December 20, 2011

How are the holidays going to BE for you this year?

The answer to that, for many is....well just like last year, I guess...fine, ok, maybe disappointing, upsetting, stressful...sound familiar?  I get that. 

Here is an idea to try on....your holiday can GO how you SAY its going TO GO??!! Crazy right??!!

So you have 2 choices this holiday season.  You can either sit in the stands of your life and watch your holiday come and go OR you can get on the court and play your game (life) full out!! Get it??!!

So I ask you again....How are the holidays going to BE?  What do you want to create?

Let's breakdown what it really means to be "upset."  What are the 3 things that have to be present for someone to get upset?  (learned this in Landmark Education Seminar...AMAZING)
  1. A thwarted intention...what does that mean??!? Hey...It's not going my way!!!
  2. An unfulfilled expectation.  This is when we see how something SHOULD go and it just doesn’t go that way.
  3. Undelivered communication...what's that? We withhold something that needs to be said, or someone withholds from us
What's the result??!!  WE GET UPSET!!!

How do we dismantle UPSET??!!
  1. Recognize... hey I'm upset
  2. Determine the source of the upset (1,2,or 3 above)
  3. Be responsible for the upset...like OH I didn't tell you how I wanted it to go
  4. Communicate
So how does this play out in the holiday, right?

Let's take Thanksgiving for me this year as an example.  So every year it was this big ordeal right?!? We would get up, really dreading the day, head out like 10am, drove like an hour out to my mom's where she cooked the huge delicious elaborate meal, get there, stuff our faces, watch the clock, clean up, watch the clock, visit a little bit, watch the clock head out like 3pm...drive another hour to my husbands family feel stuffed and miserable as we sat down to his mother's huge delicious elaborate meal, stuff our faces, watch the clock, clean up, watch the clock, visit a bit, watch the clock, head out like 8pm, go home, crash and be miserably stuffed.

And every year I would GET UPSET see above :) because it really didn't GO the way I intended it to go. Like that's not really what I wanted out of my holiday??!!! (Can you see me stomping my foot??!!)  Where was the joy and fun in THAT? And I would spend the next couple of days upset and regretful. Sound familiar? 

Here's the reality...our families really never knew this upset us...we never told them!!  WOW!! We were just sitting on the stands of our life watching the holiday go by...and we got what we got... that was an unfulfilled holiday and a big belly ache!!

Can you begin to get this?  Does this resonate with anyone out there?

So this year, my husband and I sat down and created what we wanted.  How does that happen?  Well...you just talk about it, throw out ideas.  We were like...what's important? If we could have it all...what would it look like?  

Well....we discovered what was important was that we got to be with family, relax, play games together, have great food, like have the ability to just sit and talk with each other.  We live in the same town but how often do we really just sit, interact and enjoy each other??!! Right??!! 

So I sent out an email to our families, enrolling them in what was important to us...which was to be with them longer & on more easeful terms.  Who wouldn't want that???!!! Hey I love you and want more of you!!

We proposed combining families to our house and dividing up the menu.  Everyone was like yeah! Bring it on!!  And if it doesn't work...we can create something new next time, right??!!

So what happened??!! Each of the mothers were delighted to share in the cooking.  We got the best of the best combined cooked meal... it was succulent.  We got to spend all day together, kids hanging out, taking pictures, playing games, eating 1 fabulous meal.  We got joy & laughter.  We just got to BE.  It was EXTRAORDINARY!!

"UPSET" was avoided by everyone because we created, communicated & delivered on our intentions.

So can you see how your holiday with your family could be COMPLETELY transformed?  YOU have the power to dismantle UPSET...power is in language and communication...

So I ask you again...How are the holidays going to BE for you this year?  Create NOW and COMMUNICATE to your family, friends & loved ones.  Make this holiday EXTRAORDINARY!!

With love & affection you CAN have it all!!

Be courageous!  B the light (Santa is watching)

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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Want to ELIMINATE your DEBT without increasing your income?

War on Debt??!!! Back by popular demand & SPECIAL request...just in time for the Christmas aftermath...I have applied this in my own life and have made a 180 degrees change in our finances.

This formula came from a friend and mentor of mine...she is a multi millionaire 10x over, Dani Johnson.  If you want to be a millionaire...you need to hang with and DO what millionaires DO.  When you are a milionaire you can challenge this method...until then...just do it!

So I love my spreadsheets...here it goes...

I made the numbers up but you can get the idea (obviously it works better with real data)… the example is with an average monthly income of $5000, most people can find 10% fat in there monthly spending to cut out…so that is the $500.

Next, list out your debt and the minimum payment. Then divide the minimum payment by total debt; this will give you number of payments. Sort table by number of payments…lowest to highest. Apply the $500 fat (that you are going to cut out) and apply it to the payment with the lowest number of payments….its all about speed…don’t get wrapped up in interest rates etc…. this will give you a new lower # of payments. Once you have the debt paid off with the lowest number of payments you take that whole “new payment” and apply it to one with the next lowest number of payments and so on.

How do you cut the fat? Brew your own coffee, bag lunch, shop Shop n Save or Aldis vs Dierbergs or Schnucks, drop land line, eat out once a month versus every week, clip coupons, cook meals that can be frozen and reheated later... you get the idea :)

So what is the impact on your life?  Well in the example above...this person gets to be debt free in less than 10 years, mortgage and all.  CAN YOU IMAGINE? Had you ever thought it was even possible? 

Debt is slavery.  It shackles you to stress and depression.  More marriages end in divorce over money everyday.  And its generational...the money behavior and thinking.  Working 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet, maybe bankruptcy, thoughts of scarcity playing out in your life every where.  I challenge you...STAND IN THE GAP.  You can break generational poverty if you so choose!!  

Open the mail (right...cuz some of us don't), apply it to the spreadsheet above...discover freedom from slavery...AND TAKE ACTION!

What kind of opportunities does this open up for you and your family?  Does it change your perspective on spending...it sure did mine!?!

B the Light!

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Did you see me?!?? Did you, huh? Huh?

Did you ever show up and show off and it seemed like no one even noticed? 

What do I mean by that...did you cook a great meal that your family didn't appreciate? Did you really ROCK a project at work and they said hey that's "doing your job"?  Maybe you spent all day cleaning the house, went out of your way to do that extra then you turn around to see your family dump their junk all over the kitchen table.

So you get it...you go and do something but when you stop, look around... no one saw or cared.  What was the impact of that in your life?  How did that make you feel?

I got REALLY present to this tonight.  My 5 year old daughter attends Little Gym.   She traditionally is the youngest and smallest in her class but seems to excel at a rapid rate...and I asked myself WHY?  I was never in gymnastics or really never played a sport.  My husband was a soccer stud but hang from bars and balance beams were not his thing :)  We don't work on this stuff at home etc etc...  HOW? WHY?

So I look around the room and really noticed something...actually frightful to me...every parent in the room was sitting there with their heads down on their ipads, ipods, phones, blackberry...whatever, you get the idea. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.  I had noticed this before but it really clicked for me tonight...

Now don't get me wrong, I am a work in progress. I have screwed up a ton in the past and will continue to screw a ton up in the future...

BUT for that 1 hour my daughter is in Little Gym my eyes are all on HER.  I get to see her COURAGE and DETERMINATION.  Her TRIUMPHS and STRUGGLES.  I am so often moved to tears when I watch her...in awe with every challenge she takes on!!

She is SHOWING UP and SHOWING OFF and just wants someone to notice.  And what's the impact of that??!! She gets more courage, confidence, joy,  and fun and eventually excels at what she does.  

We all get these tiny moments to build trust, love & respect with our kids...they are tiny blocks on top of blocks.  Don't miss this one.

I encourage you...next time you are at your kids function...LOOK UP!  Keep the phone, ipads, ipods, blackberry IN THE CAR.

Appreciate them for all they are and all they are not...and then share what you saw with them!!!

I guarantee the impact of THAT moment will be MORE fulfilling than unlocking the 9th level of Angry Birds. 

B the light (your kids are watching)

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How can you be UNREASONABLE today?

What do I mean by that...well we all have these reasons to DO or NOT DO something in an area of our life that is important to us.  I mean they are all valid good reasons of course....they just don't serve us :)

For instance Wednesday I had all these reasons not to run that morning...it's like 30 degrees, it's snowing, I went to bed way too late, my pjs are warm...get it?  Reasons...

But if you can set those reasons aside just for a moment...be UNREASONABLE...you can have access to something truely extraordinary...things begin to open up for you.  So I went running anyway and I got access to a whole new view on my day!! I get to be energetic, fulfilled, and grateful!!

So then what happens on Thursday?  I had all these reasons not to have this "really need to have" conversation with my husband...like what if he doesn't listen, what if I blow up, what if he chooses that instead of me...get it? Reasons...

So I set them aside...I was totally UNREASONABLE...and had a conversation with my husband that had NEVER been had before in 10 years of marriage, especially in this way!! I got to be ME!!  Full of love and respect with authenticity...."hey this doesn't work for me...this isn't what we said we were committed to."  WOW...talk about having access to something truly extraordinary!! Now my husband and I have the freedom of discussion around our word and what we are committed to!! How extraordinary is that??!!

SO ...I CHALLENGE YOU...How can you be Unreasonable today?

Maybe you start your New Year's resolution today, or turn off the tv and play a game with your kids, or have a sexy adventure with the love of your life or have THAT conversation with a family member/friend that has been on your mind holding you back...BE UNREASONABLE TODAY!!

And then come back and share with others so they can be inspired! B the light!

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Why Extraordinary-U?

The reality is this...I am no different than you...and...if I can do it...YOU TOTALLY CAN!!  I applaud you for being HERE in this moment.  The mere fact you are still reading this, tells me something about you.  You have an eager want for something totally radical in your life!!  YOU HAVE COURAGE!! 

This is me 2009... I was on the fast path of debt, divorce & self destruction. The bills were piling up, I was living my marriage with one foot out the door and maxing out at 183 pounds. 

In 2 years I have lost almost 50 pounds, became a marathon runner, transformed my relationship with my AMAZING man and set a path to financial freedom and now leading others to do the same.

I am committed to encouraging & inspiring you to take action in an area of your life that is important to YOU.   

We were all born with these amazing gifts of talent. But along the way, life took its tole on us...and we forgot who we are. We buried our talent.  And how does that show up for you? 

Think about it...how does that show up for you in your life? Maybe its an extra 50 pounds, careless spending, working a job you hate, sick & tired all the time, no sex, kids running a muck, no love, no respect, no hope and no joy. 

And can you get that if you keep doing what you been doing... you are going to get what you been getting and that would be FINE?  Like ...you are fine right where you are..."oh that's just the way it is" kind of thinking....but if you are still reading...you desire the Extraordinary-U!! 

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