Got Caught Looking Good!!

Good morning Extraordinary-U!!

I need to restore integrity with you....I communicated to you I would post once a week and it is now 3 weeks since my last blog.  The impact of that on you is you were left wondering what's going on with me...like where have I been, will I be back?  I left you hangin'.  You have my apologies and a commitment that if I cannot write a full blown blog once a week I will communicate that to you and not leave you hanging....deal??!! Great!

Just to get complete around this...yes I was rocked with a sinus mucus monster that left me completely whipped out and uninspired to empower you.  Yeah...like I really do write this stuff and if it is not completely coming from my heart I can't write it...I am a stand that you are left touched, moved and inspired in an area of life that is important to you...and I will have those days...or weeks in this case where I just ain't got it :) Its called Human Being!!

I am back with a vengeance!! So be totally prepared to be rocked!!

So lets take a look at what is Integrity?  Imagine that...that I would start with that :)

Integrity is as simple as doing what we say we are going to do....right??!! Can you think of a recent time when you said you would do something and didn't?  What was the impact on you?  What can you put in place next time so you can honor your word?!?

Just last week...I was on a call with leader in the community communicating to her some concerns I had about what had happened at our last meeting and she says to me...Call so and so and get clear on X....and what happens...I say YES just so I LOOK GOOD and avoid looking BAD.  But I KNEW when I said yes I had absolutely NO intentions on calling who she wanted me to call to get clarification around X. In fact in my mind...it was like I gave her the flying finger!! Yeah!! Like I thought she was telling me to do that to get off my little tangent....so I gave her the (mental) flying finger and didn't call who I said I would call.  Bam!! I'll show you (stomping my foot) can you see it?!! LOL right!! Can you relate??!

Then I GOT the impact of not being in integrity...It was an AHA moment (thank you Oprah) ...it is like tiny pieces start to chip off of me.  Like I begin to walk around with tiny holes...till there is more and more and more!!

When I was made aware of that impact..I started to look at my life and that situation...what did I start to do or not do? Like I was out to prove or disprove this phenomenon....  You know what I was doing...I started to avoid eye contact with the person whom I was complaining about.  And then I noticed I was not as open or free with the person I was supposed to have called to get clear with.  And the person who I said yes to but really intended no...there was this big heavy burden that came over me....Now get that these are people that I see at least 2 times a week...so this behavior I was starting to develop out of not being in integrity was just ugly and greatly affected the quality of our work!!

So what is there to do from there...restore integrity, right? How do you do that...you declare it and acknowledge the impact it had on others and communicate the actions to be taken to avoid this happening again! Awesome yes??!! There is a whole new relationship to my word now.

So I went up to the person I was gripping about and said hey I need to restore integrity with you.  I had some bad thoughts about this and that and that is just NOT who I am. The impact of that is I started avoiding you, you don't even know these conversations were going on but it was affecting my relationship with you. Then I went up to the person I was supposed to call...said hey I need to restore integrity with you....I was supposed to call you for some coaching in this area and I didn't.... The impact is I missed out on an opportunity to get clear about X.  When can we schedule that?   And then with the person I said yes to...I need to restore integrity with you...I said I would call so and so and didn't.  The impact was I was completely out of integrity and didn't do what I said I would do. 

So over the next week I just kept cleaning up and cleaning up integrity everywhere in my life.  Even if you thought oh I will do that and didn't ...I cleaned it up.  What was I left with after all that was this freedom...freedom of shame of all the would a, could a, should a's!! 

Robin Sharma says Integrity is all about wholeness.  Make sure that you consistently do what your conscience tells you is correct in not just one department, but in all departments of your life.  the different areas of your life are like rivers flowing together to form an ocean.  The emotional influences the physical and together they influence the social and together these affect the spiritual elements of your world.  Neglecting any department of your life this means relationship neglect or physical neglect or spiritual neglect, profoundly touches all of the other areas.

So I challenge you....Where do you need to restore integrity? Where have you said you would do something and didn't?  Pick up the phone...call that person and make a difference for thier listening of you and in who you are for others!!! 

Yah that's one of the totally cool things...people start to rely on you as your WORD!! 

Join my sexy readers club and LIKE ME on Facebook or TWEET ME on Twitter so you are continually plugged into a community committed to GREATNESS!!

If this moved you to action today...SHARE BELOW...your story may inspire someone else and change their life!!

Join the movement...Donate today to Living Water International, because THIS community right here...that you are a part of... is out to make a measurable difference in 2012!!

B the Light!

What Can You Possibly See?

Are you ready for the BIG KAHUNA? Fasten your seat belts for this wicked ride!!  This idea is RADICALLY transformational, can be applied to EVERY area of your life, and is the key to an EXTRAORDINARY-U!!  Thank you Landmark Education!!

Is it possible our whole life is DRIVEN by the VIEW behind OUR CURRENT SET OF GOGGLES?

What do I mean by that?  What is possible or not possible for you comes from the CONTEXT from which you are living.

What's context? The dictionary defines context as the set of circumstances or facts that surround a particular event, situation, etc.

Let me be clear here...you ALREADY have a context for each and every area of your life...whether you know it or not...your body, health, relationships, your job, money, family, friends, anything...everything...

Where do these contexts come from...SHIT HAPPENS... and we as humans make something up about what happened....from that... a context is formed in our mind...we put on a pair of goggles that ALTERS the view of reality...and then we go out and try to live life!!

What shows up?

CONTEXT DECIDES.  There are things you cannot see or hear inside of your context.  And its these things that you cannot see or hear that LIMIT YOU from living an extraordinary life...having it all or maybe anything at all...living and playing full out... 

Want to know the key to access to a new set of goggles??!!

1. Distinguish the context you are already in....identify it...I will give you some examples in a moment.  But when you distinguish the context you are living... in a particular area of your life...it disappears it!! 
2. Practice CREATING a context that GIVES you LIFE

Simple and profound.  But when you get this big idea...when you know it...you will never be the same because you now have ACCESS to transform each and every area of your life that is important to you.  Yes it takes some practice as the old context will try to creep in from time to time...that's why you are plugged in here...a community committed to greatness...we can remind you...to try on a new pair of goggles...and see what you might see...

Let's play with this a bit so you get what I am talking about here...so take a peek into your life...take a look at what is the context from which you are living?

When I did this I saw for myself...I'm not good enough and I have to work hard.  So if I am walking around with the goggles of I'm not good enough and I have to work hard....what shows up?

Let me REALLY wrap your brain around the ideas of possible and not possible here...I want this to be so clear when you take it back to your life....

So when you think of possible or not possible think of yellow and blue...What's possible? Light, dark, green...you tracking with me? yeah...

What's NOT possible? Red right...inside the context of yellow and blue...you will never get (see or hear) red....clear??!!


Ok back to life...So if I am walking around with the goggles of I'm not good enough and I have to work hard...

What's possible (yellow and blue)?  Failure, exhaustion, no satisfaction, undeserving, losing, divorce, obesity, never realizing my greatest potential, never making a difference

What's NOT possible (red)?  Success, accomplishment, love, being loved, wining, ease, joy, making a difference, being valued, self worth, fun, abundance

Can you begin to see it?  So I got my goggles on of I'm not good enough and I have to work hard...and I am beating my self up trying to win the game of life that is NOT even possible from the context that I am living.  Someone says...I love you...I don't hear it.  Someone says awesome job on that project...I don't hear it, feel it, receive it.  Someone says you look amazing...I don't believe it.  Are you beginning to get the big idea here? 

What else happens...I play small. Why? I'm not good enough and I am sick and tired of working HARD.  But is that reality? NO that's the story I made up because of junk in my truck (my past).

What can you begin to see in your own life?  What is the context in which you have been living?  This may feel like a splash in the face for some...its ok...really...its just the human machine!!

And these contexts are a familiar strings that runs through our lives right...like I didn't make this up last week...you get that? I can look down memory lane and see I'm not good enough and I have to work hard all over the place....its ugly...and we get stopped based on a historical conversation.

So what do we do about it?  1.  Distinguish it....go oh...there it is...and the goggles fall off.  And what are you left with?  A BLANK CANVAS FROM WHICH TO DESIGN YOUR LIFE!! 2.  Create new!! Its your life you get to SAY...your actions will be a direct result from the CONTEXT FROM WHICH YOU CREATE....watch...

Let's create a new context....This body is the vehicle for the rest of my life that's going to go out into the world and accomplish what there is to accomplish.  PUT THE GOGGLES ON...


What's possible (yellow and blue)? health, vitality, joy, youth into my 90s, success, action, kicking the pants out of cancer, running your first race, love, sex, intimacy, self satisfaction

What's NOT possible (red)?

So what is beginning to open up for you here? What do you see possible? What context have you been living from?  What context do you want to take on?

Join my sexy readers club and LIKE MEon Facebook or TWEET ME on Twitter so you are continually plugged into a community committed to GREATNESS!!

If this moved you to action today...SHARE BELOW...your story may inspire someone else and change their life!!

Join the movement...Donate today to Living Water International, because THIS community right here...that you are a part of... is out to make a measurable difference in 2012!!

B the Light!

Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose....

Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose... is what a leader in the Landmark Education seminar said to me...this idea...radical and profound...play with me here a bit...I invite you to open your eyes and your heart....




Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose...she says
I say Chocolate...she says why? Because I like Chocolate.

Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose...she says again
I say Chocolate...she says why? Because I like Chocolate (did you not hear me the first time...lol). She says those are reasons.
Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose...but this time she is only holding Chocolate...I say Chocolate...she says why? Because its the only one...(where is this going) She says reasons....again.  Are you trackin' with me here?

Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose...she says again
hmmmmm.....I say.... Chocolate...she says why? Because I want Chocolate...she says...OK now we are getting somewhere...

Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose...
I say Chocolate...she says why? Because I CHOOSE Chocolate...BAM!!  There it is!!

Here is the  BIG IDEA.  We as humans...are taught to make well informed decisions yes?...think about it...you go for your first job interview and at that time you actually had a couple to pick from...so you get out your pen and piece of paper and write down all the pros on one side of the paper and all the cons down the other side of the paper on of each job offer and you MAKE A DECISION based on all your REASONS why you should take that job, right? ...big difference from choice...but we will get back to that in a moment.

So you start your job...the one you decided on because you like the people, they seemed friendly, the work schedule seemed flexible and the pay seemed competitive.  Three months into this gig...you realize these people are not who they seemed, you're working 60 hours a week and at this point it doesn't matter how much you make...you are less than enthusiastic about your DECISION!!  How many of you can relate?


Here is the big idea...CHOOSE YOUR JOB.  Like take it...own it.


New example...2-2 1/2 years ago we just got the Nintendo Wii...and our Wii came with this balance board.  So we get all excited and set up our Miis...I am sure you know what I am talking about here... you pick out a shirt, hair, gender...tell it your height and then go step on this balance board to weigh in...and based on your specifications the game creates this image of you in seconds and declares your current state of health...I will never forget that day...I step on this thing and before my eyes was this 4 inches tall by 4 inches WIDE mini (or should I say not so mini) me right before my eyes...and this thing deems me OBESE!!  I gasped...

I was like wow...I didn't really realize that...like I never considered myself with that label...but right there before my eyes in full blown HD TV...OBESE. 

In that moment I CHOSE OBESE.  I am sure you are like you what?!! Think about it...I did not sit down with a piece of paper and jot down the pros and cons of obesity...and said yeah...I'll take that...HELL NO!!!  But the sum of my CHOICES got me there.

So here is the beauty in this chocolate or vanilla choose thing...in THAT moment that obese was blasting across my tv...I CHOSE OBESE...(chocolate, right??).what begins to open up...in that EXACT moment I can CHOOSE HEALTH (vanilla, cool huh??)..WHY? because I can!!! But if you don't OWN it...like take responsibility for it...CLAIM IT you will NEVER do anything about it...you will never do anything that is not consistent with your thinking.

This is YOUR LIFE folks...you get to CHOOSE how its going to go...Get it? Choose it...

So let's take it up a notch...this leader asking me to choose chocolate or vanilla shares with us...SHE CHOOSES CANCER.  I was like what??!! Why would you do that?  


Here is the big idea...they just found out her husband has leukemia...this is marathon runner, athlete, powerhouse, got it....and she is choosing cancer??!!  


Help me out here...so they didn't have a choice in this matter right? Like it...cancer...got handed to them....this is so profound...when they CHOOSE cancer...the power resides in their hands....they get to say how its going to go...they NOW TAKE CANCER ON!  Like kick the stinking pants off cancer and get back to normal now, yes??!!


What's the alternative...well they flap around in the wind of uncertainty...they get sucked into the world of I don't know how its going to go...they get depressed, helpless, and hopeless, yes?...and they pull everyone around them into that world...can you see that?  Choose it!!


Final example...This concept is so simple yet so profound...so we had my daughter's friend over this weekend...but right before I got to her house to pick her up...another friend of hers told her dad she wanted to play.  Well my daughter's friend's dad didn't know we had already made plans to come get her that morning.  So if you can imagine...dad walks in the door saying hey your friend down the street wants to play with you but low and behold we pull in the driveway about the same time, give the horn a honk and her parents send  her out. 

So my daughter's little friend gets in the car and I can tell she's like crabby...this is a little person...5 years old...they really don't know what crabby is yet but I could tell she was confronted.  So she informs us I have to get home early so I can go to so and so's house...and I said really? Do you just want to stay here and play with her...and she says no...I want to go with you guys. 


Well once we get home the mood really doesn't change...and trust me this behavior really wasn't normal....so I say to this little person....honey do you want to be HERE (chocolate) or go home and play with your other friend (vanilla)..it is totally cool with us what you want to do, right? We love you and want you here but if your mind is somewhere else...we can take you there...right??!!  She is like no...I choose here (chocolate)...I say cool..then that means you play joyfully, with love and friendship from now on...like choose HERE and really your actions all stem from that choice....AND SHE DID!! 


Now the rest of the day these girls had a blast!! But this little person was torn...where she was and where she thought she might like to be...but when she CHOSE...a whole new realm of joy and fun and playfulness rose to the surface!! It was amazingly powerful awesome great afternoon for these best little friends!!!


How many times have you been torn between where you were and where you wanted to be or thought you wanted to be?  How was your behavior? What was the impact you left others with?  Would you like the outcome to be different next time? Now you can...CHOOSE!!

So others in class began to share...
I choose my credit score
I choose my boss
I choose being single
I choose my marriage
I choose a child with Asperger's


Truly profound!


What area of your life is important to you?  Take a look...CHOSE IT & change your predictable future to one of extraordinary results!!!!

Join my sexy readers club and LIKE MEon Facebook or TWEET ME on Twitter so you are continually plugged into a community committed to GREATNESS!! 

If this moved you to action today...SHARE BELOW...your story may inspire someone else and change their life!!

Join the movement...Donate today to Living Water International, because THIS community right here...that you are a part of... is out to make a measurable difference in 2012!!

B the Light!

What if... today was your last day?

What if you woke up this morning knowing TODAY WAS YOUR LAST DAY?  Would it alter the way you behaved or reacted? 

Would you be a more kind, grateful, or patient? Give longer hugs? Smile at a stranger? Call your parents? Forgive someone? Have a wild sexy adventure with your partner? Go home from work on time? Sit down at the table for dinner with your family and talk? Would you pray? Go for a run? Climb a mountain?

I would like to think...if we just had one day... we would stop and do ABSOLUTELY everything we could in those last moments to REALLY make an IMPACT with our families, our friends, our loved ones...to let them know we loved them. 

After that we might get a little adventurous and jump out of a plane or something...but you get the picture.

Here's the big idea...it's YOUR LIFE...you get to say how it goes!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??!!You have the power to create a life that matters...RIGHT NOW...whether that's a stay-at-home mom or a CEO of a multi billion dollar corporation...WHO YOU ARE...MATTERS!!

B THE LIGHT!! Catch on fire!!

Let me really drive this point home because it's January 3rd and I promised my readers 2012 was going to look radically different for them!! So... I have read and reread The Leader Who Had No Title by Robin Sharma...so this totally comes from that Guru...but

IMAGINE...you are literally in the grave yard...its just about sunrise...you are digging your own grave....and you stumble upon this massive stone tablet.  You struggle, dig it up, and dust it off to read THE 10 HUMAN REGRETS....so you begin to read aloud...

THE 10 HUMAN REGRETS:

1.      You reach your last day with the brilliant song that your life was meant to sing still silent within you.

2.      You reach your last day without ever having experienced the natural power that inhabits you to do great work and achieve great things.

3.      You reach your last day realizing that you never inspired anyone else by the example that you set.

4.      You reach your last day full of pain at the realization that you never took any bold risks and so you never received any bright rewards.

5.      You reach your last day understanding that you missed the opportunity to catch a glimpse of mastery because you bought into the lie that you had to resign to mediocrity.

6.      You reach your last day and feel heartbroken that you never learned the skill of transforming adversity into victory and lead into gold.

7.      You reach your last day regretting that you forgot that work is about being radically helpful to others rather than being helpful to only yourself.

8.      You reach your last day with the awareness that you ended up living the life that society trained you to want versus leading the life you truly wanted to have.

9.      You reach your last day and awaken to the fact you never realized your absolute best nor touched the special genius that you were build to become.

10.  You reached your last day and discover you could have been a leader and left this world so much  better than you found it.  But you refused to accept that mission because you were just too scared.  And so you failed.  And wasted a life.

So you look up and say..NO!! Now what, you ask?  KEEP DIGGING!! You pick up that heavy shovel.  The sun is starting to peak out from the clouds and you hear a loud "clink."  You look down to discover yet another massive tablet...but this one is different...it was shinning a bit...so you dig faster til you can pull out this golden tablet.  Engraved on the top read THE 10 HUMAN VICTORIES...so you begin to read aloud again...

THE 10 HUMAN VICTORIES:

1.      You reach your end full of happiness and fulfillment on realizing that you are all used up-having spent the fullness of your talents, the biggest of your resources, and the best of your potential doing great work and leading a rare-air life.

2.      You reach your end knowing that you played at a standard of concentrated excellence and held yourself to the most impeccable of standards in each thing that you did.

3.      You reach your end in noisy celebration for having the boldness of spirit to have regularly confronted your largest fears and realized your highest visions

4.      You reach your end and recognize that you became the person who built people up versus one who tore people down.

5.      You reach your end with the understanding that while your journey may have not always been a smooth one, whenever you got knocked down you instantly got back up – and at all times, never suffered from any loss of optimism.

6.      You reach your end and bask in the staggering glory of your phenomenal achievements along with the rich value you have contributed to the lives of the people you were lucky to serve.

7.      You reach your end and adore the strong, ethical, inspirational, and empathetic person you grew into.

8.      You reached your end and realized that you were a genuine innovator who blazed new trails instead of following old roads.

9.      You reach your end surrounded with teammates who call you a rock star, customers who say you’re a hero, and loved ones who call you a legend.

10.  You reach your end as a true Leader Without a Title, knowing that the great deeds you will endure long after your death and that your life stands as a model of possibility.

Powerful, YES?  You have many more days ahead...Which tablet or tombstone do you want to be holding?  Be mindful, be courageous & B the Light!

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How can you be UNREASONABLE today?

What do I mean by that...well we all have these reasons to DO or NOT DO something in an area of our life that is important to us.  I mean they are all valid good reasons of course....they just don't serve us :)

For instance Wednesday I had all these reasons not to run that morning...it's like 30 degrees, it's snowing, I went to bed way too late, my pjs are warm...get it?  Reasons...

But if you can set those reasons aside just for a moment...be UNREASONABLE...you can have access to something truely extraordinary...things begin to open up for you.  So I went running anyway and I got access to a whole new view on my day!! I get to be energetic, fulfilled, and grateful!!

So then what happens on Thursday?  I had all these reasons not to have this "really need to have" conversation with my husband...like what if he doesn't listen, what if I blow up, what if he chooses that instead of me...get it? Reasons...

So I set them aside...I was totally UNREASONABLE...and had a conversation with my husband that had NEVER been had before in 10 years of marriage, especially in this way!! I got to be ME!!  Full of love and respect with authenticity...."hey this doesn't work for me...this isn't what we said we were committed to."  WOW...talk about having access to something truly extraordinary!! Now my husband and I have the freedom of discussion around our word and what we are committed to!! How extraordinary is that??!!

SO ...I CHALLENGE YOU...How can you be Unreasonable today?

Maybe you start your New Year's resolution today, or turn off the tv and play a game with your kids, or have a sexy adventure with the love of your life or have THAT conversation with a family member/friend that has been on your mind holding you back...BE UNREASONABLE TODAY!!

And then come back and share with others so they can be inspired! B the light!

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